Bits and Pieces

** Yesterday Rich was on the phone with his mother talking over what plans we could make for our visit to her house, near Cleveland, OH. She thought we might be interested in seeing the Dead Sea Scroll exhibit in the city, so Rich asked me if that would interest me. I didn't have my hearing aids in, so my response was:

"Ditsy Squirrels?"

** Rich and I are at an age where we know one another very, very well, and we are blessed to have a sense of humor about it. I've noticed that Rich has Buttons. You push one, and out comes a pre-recorded message that only varies a very little bit depending on the context. One of these buttons, since he is a meteorologist, has to do with Global Warming and Bad Liberal Science. Some of the buttons seem to be pushed by his natural reactions to things. Since Rich has an inordinately itchy foot, many of our conversations join the highway called, "I think we should plan a trip...!" (Life has been very interesting with him because of this tendency)
Another one he's acquired concerns the subject of Time Zones and a Certain Stupid Politician who shall remain Unnnamed. In fact many of his Buttons seem to involve Pinhead Politicians.

** Many of these Buttons are accompanied by the liberal use of what I call The Scottish Eyeball. You have to be Scots, fairly hairy (beard and eyebrows are ideal) and opinionated. Brown eyes are best. Mostly men have it, probably because of the hair factor, but one woman who has it is my daughter, who has everything but the hair. Besides Rich and Meg, others who have it include the likes of Sean Connery and Billy Connolly, who starred in Mrs. Brown. A week ago Rich was in DC for a conference and found himself at dinner with a rhetoritician who had all the characteristics necessary: Scots, bearded, brown eyes and very opinionated. His was such a pronounced Eyeball that Rich had to tell him all about it. The man, I am told, was profoundly delighted to know he had it. The Scottish Eyeball, in case you are wondering, is not a physically threatening look. It's more of a withering judgement on a situation, statement or person. With the mere throw of the Scottish Eyeball, the possessor eloquently reveals his complete disdain, irritation, and Final Judgement; it condemns the receiver to wallow unhindered in the mire of their own obvious folly. The Eyeball is unanswerable and therefore powerful.